YOUR AFFECTION IS APPARENT
We know you love us, dear patron. For 16 years you’ve been buying tickets to the shows, supporting Grrl Action and coming to the annual benefit/party, The Eye Ball. Recently you’ve started reading our blog, following our Twitter feed and leaving increasingly creepy messages on our Facebook page. We dig that!
RUDE MECHS WANTS TO RETURN YOUR LOVE
In order to show you how much we love you back the best we can do right now is offer you the opportunity to participate in the world's most exciting non-event featuring absolutely nothing of note. On the surface, this may seem like an empty offer, but we believe it has its advantages. Plus, fuck it. It's too hot.
JUST FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE STEPS TO BE A PART OF THE LAZY EYE BALL!
1) Get out your checkbook or log-on to www.rudemechs.com
2) Add up the value of these savings to you:
• The soap and shampoo and water you will save not showering $________
• The cost of a new outfit to suit some ridiculous theme (remember the Magnum P. Eyeball?) $________
• The time it takes you to smell your clothes looking for something clean(ish) to wear $________
• The gas you will save not driving on all those roads between you and the Off Center $________
• The drinks/drugs you won’t be buying for a night of partying $________
• The auction items you won’t drunkenly purchase $________
• The therapy sessions you won't pay for to deal with Kirk's groping issues $________
• The long cab ride home $________
• The shame you will avoid in not having a bunch of pictures posted on the internet of you sloppily dancing without your shoes/shirt/skirt/ pants/dignity $ PRICELESS
3) Send the total amount of these savings to Rude Mechs ASAP! See below for how.
4) Rest up, because the Eye Ball is going to be back next year! And like a farmer allowing a field to lay fallow for a season, we’re expecting a bumper crop of party-fever next year with a bigger, better and weirder Eye Ball than ever.
WHAT ARE THE RUDES UP TO IN THE MEANTIME?
Well we’ve been called a lot of things, but outside of this party we’re hardly LAZY. The reason we’re giving you a break from the annual EYE BALL is cuz we’re SO DAMN BUSY!!! Here’s a taste of what we’ve got planned in the coming year:
• Grrl Action Summer Performances
• the 2nd installment in our Contemporary Classics Series, a re-creation of Mabou Mines' show The B. Beaver Animation,
• a full year of Oyster Club events
• the premiere of CL1000P!
• The Method Gun tour continues to Portland's TBA Festival and the Philadelphia Live Arts festival
• I've Never Been So Happy is touring to Center Theatre Group's Kirk Douglas Theater in Los Angeles
• Dionysus in 69 is touring to Princeton University.
• And once we’re done with all that, we’ll being work on the next installment of the award-winning Decameron series, with Decameron Day 3: Revolution!
WHEN: Whenever.
WHERE: That was too hard to figure out.
TICKETS: Tickets to the the best event around that doesn't exist at all may be purchased below. Or, you can mail a check payable to Rude Mechanicals and send to 2211-A Hidalgo St., Austin, TX 78702.
SUGGESTED GIFT: $75. Won't you consider donating at least the cost of a standard Eye Ball ticket for you and a date? Just think of all the trouble we just saved you!
FEATURING: A bunch of Rudes sitting on their asses and a silent auction as big as your imagination.
THE LAZY EYE BALL IS PROUDLY SPONSORED BY: Argh - couldn't find that list.
ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT RUDE MECHS AND EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON AT THE OFF CENTER!!
